


from dusk to dawn

by peppermintcas



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Decidedly Not Slow Burn, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 09:17:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10716543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppermintcas/pseuds/peppermintcas
Summary: Zach kisses him."Fuck," Alex says. His eyes are wide. "What was that for?"





	from dusk to dawn

**Author's Note:**

> me, last time: slow burn!! 4k!!!
> 
> me, this time: Fuck It

Zach kisses him.

It's impulse, really. He's been so careful since Hannah's death, about everything - with the truth, his words, his family. This feels like freedom. Not caring anymore.

"Fuck," Alex says. His eyes are wide. "What was that for?"

"You're honest," Zach says. "You're real."

"What does that _mean_?"

"I like you," Zach says. "No one else wanted to tell the truth, no one else wanted to own up to what they did, but you - you're the best of us."

Alex stares at him. His back is against the wall, his hands balled in Zach's shirt. His expression is unreadable.

"No one else here gets it," Zach says.

Alex shakes his head, wordlessly, his hands tightening in Zach's shirt. "Don't," he says.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"Don't - " Alex takes a breath. "I'm not - special, or better. I'm just self fucking aware. We all fucked up."

"I know," Zach says, and he does know. "But at least you're not making excuses for it."

Alex kisses him, though he thinks it's more to cut off the conversation than anything else. He puts his hands on Alex's waist and doesn't think about it.

/

Alex is walking home in the rain when Zach pulls up beside him. "Need a ride?" Zach asks, markedly casual.

Alex glances in the car - he half-expects to see Montgomery or Justin or, God help him, fucking Bryce, but Zach's alone. He stops. Looks around. "Sure," he says, and climbs into the passenger's seat.

They pull away from the curb and Zach merges into traffic. "You're going home, right?" Zach asks.

"Let's go to Monet's," Alex says. It's a spontaneous decision, but there's nothing waiting for him at home and it's a much longer drive to Monet's. He wants to talk to Zach. They haven't gotten a moment alone since last week. "Have you got anything to do?"

"Nope," Zach says, and makes a left.

/

Zach gets a mocha. Alex gets an espresso. He's done with frilly drinks.

/

"Is this a date?" Zach asks, low. There's no one else in their corner but he always feels paranoid these days.

Alex taps the rim of his cup. "If you want it to be," he says, finally. There's uncertainty in his voice.

"I'm just asking because - " Zach looks down at his drink. He can feel his face heating up. "Well. Last week."

"Do you regret it, Dempsey?" It's a challenge.

Zach smiles, despite himself. "No," he says. It comes out fucking bashful, like he's some blushing virgin. He clears his throat. "No, it was - it was good."

Alex is smirking now, and he takes a sip of his coffee without taking his eyes off Zach's. "Well then," he says. His ankle knocks against Zach's under the table.

/

This time Alex kisses him, one hand sliding into Zach's hair and the other braced on the car seat. Rain spatters the windshield. It's humid and damp and he forgot deodorant this morning but it's still good, hot and dry and tentative, Zach's hands cupping his jaw.

Zach tastes like coffee.

Alex breaks away and drops into his seat. He's breathing harder than he'd like. "Alright then," he says, and smiles. "Drive."

/

"Hey," Zach says in the hall.

"Hey," Alex says. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing," Zach says. He keeps brushing his hand against Alex's, but it's casual enough that no one looks twice. "We're hanging out at my place later, you wanna come?"

Alex snorts. "Who's gonna be there?"

"Not Bryce," Zach says. "I promise."

"Justin and Marcus and Montgomery, then."

"And a couple others." Zach's pinky hooks with Alex's, briefly. "You can help clean up after. My parents are out of town and my sister's having a sleepover."

"How convenient," Alex says.

"I know," Zach says. He raises his eyebrows. "What do you say?"

Alex rolls his eyes. "I'll be there."

"Great," Zach says happily. "Bring a six pack."

"That's so exploitative," Alex says. "I'll try."

/

Zach keeps touching him. Nothing big - their fingers brush when Zach hands over a cup, he gets crammed in with him on the couch, Zach leans into him and slings his arm around his shoulders - but Alex's heart sings with adrenaline every time like a fucking fool. He gets drunk to compensate.

Montgomery finally clears out at two. The house is quiet. Alex leans back on the counter, relishing the chill from the granite, and closes his eyes. When he opens them again, Zach is standing in the doorway.

"Jesus," Alex says. His heart had jumped. "Don't scare me like that."

Zach comes up to him, steps into his space. "Alex," he says, quiet.

"Zach," Alex says.

Zach touches Alex's arm carefully. It's different, alone in an empty house, in this small and tired quiet that is so entirely theirs. It feels like they're relearning each other in different configurations.

Zach looks at him.

"I think you're kind," Alex blurts out. It's been welling up in him since last week. "At heart."

Zach's shaking his head. "No," he says. "Alex."

"You are," Alex says. "You don't let a lot of people see it, and you're an asshole to fit in, but Zach - "

"I wasn't to her," he says. "I wasn't when it mattered. I'm still - don't make excuses for me."

"See?" Alex says. "Self-awareness."

Zach kisses him. It's fierce, mostly to stop Alex from talking, but before long it melts into something softer, easier. Alex loses track of time. It's three AM on a Saturday, that's all he knows, and neither of them want to go to sleep.

/

He's on the couch in the family room, where the lights are out and the quiet feels sacred. Zach leans over him. His eyes are gentle and wide in the dark.

Alex kisses him and lets himself be kissed, and each second that passes sinks down to his bones.

/

"I'll see you in school," Alex says.

"What will I do till then," Zach says, tragically. He touches Alex's shoulder. "Watch yourself."

"Of course," Alex says. He knows why he's saying that, can read between the lines. Part of him resents Zach for it; another part of him hates himself for being resentful. An endless cycle of loathing. He pushes it aside. "Bye," he says, and hesitates. "I - "

Zach hears it. His eyes are wide. "Okay," he says, and hesitates in turn. "Bye."

Alex turns and heads out into the morning sun.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> [impulse posts @ 1am]


End file.
